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Thursday, 02/14/2019

ID
7c5464e5-9ac4-4a14-a98a-dbf78ac4152c

00:38 Positivity

I had an interesting discussion with Ed at work today, where he wondered why I

was more taciturn that usual. I should probably be honest with him about my

efforts to be more positive and constructive. But I'm not sure how we'll that

would go over. Ed tends to blame himself for a lot. The blame is brutal without

the introspection to make changes.

I think the biggest challenge is that he has a very low tolerance for things

being done poorly. Mind you, poor is a value judgement, so he most often just

doesn't like the way we do things. There's A LOT to complain about how Elation

works. But the reality is that complaining about it wont do anyone any good.

Reading How to Lead When You're Not in Charge right now, the section on either

perservering and staying positive or cutting bait was really relevant to this

situation. You can only blame the people around you for being incompetent for so

long. At some point you have to take ownership over the things you do control.

If the work is coming in scattered, focus your work and do the best you can

within the guidelines provided. You can't blame your boss or co-worker for

everything all the time.

Reflecting on the current state of leadership at Elation, Andrew is supposed to

be my new supervisor, but I haven't had a 1:1 with him yet. I'm not sure when

one is even scheduled. One the one hand, that's disappointing that I don't have

someone guiding my development right. On the other hand, that means I have an

opportunity to take ownership over my own growth.

21:07 Mentorship

I've come to really value meeting with Cris every other week. When I began

talking with him I was worried that I wasn't prepared for a mentorship, that

somehow I was supposed to structure things more. But it turns out there's all

sorts of different mentorshps, and this one more closely resembles as

psychologist mentorship. Cris is someone to talk things through, with the added

bonus that he has a really good head on his shoulders and thinks a lot about how

to interact with people and get things done.

Finnegan had minor surgery on the abscess on his left front paw today. He seemed

to do alright. With Jess living in the house with us, I find myself a little at

odds with how she sympathizes with pets. It has occurred to me, not uncruely,

that if large parts of your life don't make sense, there is a relative

simplicity to the life and love of a pet. I just don't care that much about the

mental health of my animals. Maybe that makes me a monster. But I just don't

care that much about Finnegan's day to day travails. I enjoy having him in the

house, but can't bring myself to feel for him.

I'd also like to keep track of more ideas.