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Saturday, 02/02/19

ID
24279746-7045-482e-93ef-d35785c598d7

17:04 Selfishness

Reading the Art of Selfishness after jail vounteering while I waited for Emma, I

ended upon the chapter about how tying your life to social relationships too

tightly can lead to the destruction of self, manifested as suicide or other less

dramatic but still significant deleterious effects.

One thing that dawned on me as I was reading it was that the author advocates

unmooring your personal satisfactions from things that you don't have as much,

or any, control over. This rang really true for me, especially as regards work

right now. Often I find myself complaining to Emma or my journal about what a

mess things are at work, but work is the only place right now where I can do

technical things. My hope for satisfaction in tech is intimately tied to whether

work is going well. That sucks. Even worse, it means that I don't have fun with

code or projects.

I have available outlets. There's Open Maine (code for maine by another name),

and Stavros always has fun side projects that could use help. So I think what I

ought to be doing is making time in my life to explore ideas outside of work to

do fun projects and learn best habits. That's how I got where I am anyhow.

In the meantime, save the crappy technical challenges at work for work time, get

through it, but keep an eye out for opportunities to improve things, like

advocating for quarterly project team meetups in person, or writing funny,

accurate engineering specs instead of flailing about with a team that doesn't

know what an engineering spec is.